Going granola after 30

I’m turning into one of those people who can afford decent cosmetics*, but would prefer to schmear an edible coconut-oil concoction on her pits.

I’m not actually eating my deodorant and I shave all my bits, so I guess that disqualifies me from being a total hippie. But getting older and getting married have made me a lot more afraid of getting cancer or dying in any possibly avoidable way, so I used the easiest version of the recipe from Wellness Mama to make my own deodorant.

How does fear of death tie into your choice of antiperspirant, you ask? It’s the aluminum. It blocks your pores so you don’t sweat, but then your body isn’t releasing the toxins that should come out in your sweat. That’s why sweat is so stinky, especially if you have an unhealthy diet.

The homemade stuff works better than anything I have ever used, no lie. I used conventional antiperspirants until like a year ago without issue, but there were certainly situations in which they quit working (i.e. I would reapply after a good run). The coconut oil-baking soda-arrowroot paste is amazing from sunup til sundown. I didn’t even put any essential oils in it.

I recently went no poo for like three months, but I slaughtered my hair. As in I actually feel kind of guilty about what I did to it. I got a bunch of dead ends cut off six weeks through, but kept at it in case I was just doing it wrong. I gave up when I didn’t even want to brush my hair because it was so tangled and dead; pulling a brush through it brought tears to my eyes. I finally had to message a friend back in the US just to ask for her advice and she got me to look for all-natural, sulfate free shampoo. I got that and some conditioning treatment and my hair is coming back to life, but I need another trim to rid of my split ends. I probably will have lost nearly six inches all told, and it makes me so sad. I’m going to be a bridesmaid this summer and I wish I had hair down to the middle of my back that I could play with.

A picture that is kind of a picture of my hair.
A picture that is kind of a picture of my hair.

Next up is using a cornstarch mix instead of baby powder. I have been a fan of sprinkling talc on my lady parts (underboob, etc), but I read that it might cause cancer, and if I can just put some arrowroot in some cornstarch and use that instead, I don’t see why not.

Beef is no longer what’s for dinner after I read that human allergies to red meat might be why people who eat more red meat are more prone to cancer. Also I am just more and more grossed out by eating any meat or animal products in general. I haven’t committed myself to any kind of restrictive diet because I’ll eat whatever’s on the table at a restaurant, but at home I’m not cooking meat or using milk at home. I’m still eating yogurt and hardboiled eggs, but I’m not comfortable with it and I hope that as my vegan-cooking repertoire expands, they’ll just fall off the end of the shopping list. At restaurants with beer and friends, I’ll eat pork and chicken and whatever, but I can’t think about it too much or it becomes gross to me.

J says I am turning into one of the characters from this skit:

It’s kind of funny because this is probably the only Portlandia skit we have seen.

I’m also really into eating a lot of fiber and am keeping a mental log (ew) about my poops. I don’t really want to talk about them in detail, but I definitely try to make sure I have good ones. I feel like that’s a really granola thing. Like vegan friends of mine are more likely than omnivores to just casually talk about cleansing and fiber. I’m totally down with that.

Bring on the apple cider vinegar, with The Mother! I’m gonna live forever! Bottoms up!

*I could afford nice cosmetics, if I bought fewer books and kitchen gadgets. Just never got into makeup…

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