Am now enrolled and attending Chinese classes at CYCU here in Zhongli, and it’s awesome and I am having a great time. I was so glad that I was able to get into a class studying nearly the same chapter of the same book I was using when I stopped working with my tutor like…a year ago? Almost two years? I can’t quite remember….
Anyway! Before I joined the class, I had to meet with the head of the Mandarin Learning Center, and she had to assess me. We were grooving, no English necessary, sorting out the details. She asked me to read from the textbook, and I did, and I sounded like a semi-literate adult, which I am in Chinese, but it was all good. Definitely gonna get into the class. Then she drops this on me:
And I have no idea what she said, so I asked her to repeat the question, and she did, and I still didn’t catch it. And then she’s like, “妳幾歲? How old are you?” and I realize now this woman has to decide whether to admit me to this class of people who can speak Chinese and I can’t understand her when she tries to politely ask my age.
So that’s my Chinese level: I can have a fifteen-minute chat about my life experiences and goals, but I can’t answer the question, “How old are you?”
That was embarrassing, but I outdid myself the next day. I sat in on the class for an hour and loved it. The other students were like oh my god, your Chinese is awesome, there’s a competition in February for foreigners who speak Chinese, you should totally join, you could win, you’re so great, and I’m like no, no, teehee. But secretly I am like, “I AM THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!”
So I wasn’t sure that morning how it would go, and I wasn’t sure what they would charge me entering mid-semester, so I had decided not to bring a pile of cash. But I went immediately to the director to confirm that I wanted to join the class asap. I asked her if it was okay if I paid tomorrow, “我今天可以付錢嗎?” which if you know Chinese you will see the problem right away, but let’s keep going.
So I asked her if I could pay tomorrow, and she said it was okay. And she had me fill out a registration form, and she photocopied my passport and my ARC. I was feeling kinda stupid for bringing all that, but no money, so I asked again if I could pay the next day, “我今天可以付錢嗎?” and she smiled and said that was no problem. She calculated how much it was going to be and I wrote it down. We went to the registrar’s office and they put all my info in the computer and then told me that I needed to pay, NT$7000.
“現在嗎？可是我要今天付錢…” And then when they looked at me like I was an alien, I realized that after having living in Taiwan for eight years, after having studied Chinese off and on for ten years, after having a few chats with this director, and getting praised by my new classmates, I still confuse “今天” and “明天”, “today” and “tomorrow.”
I had asked this woman multiple times if it was cool if I paid “today”, and she had confirmed it was very cool, and then when she asked me for the money, I had said, “Now? But I want to pay today,” which made them look at me like I was nuts. Obviously. That is a ridiculous thing to say.
And then I said, “Oh my god, no, sorry, 明天, 明天!” the director and the clerk looked at me like I was a piece of shit, but only for a second, and then they recovered, smiled very gracefully, and said there was no problem, I could certainly come and pay the next morning, and then they nodded their heads and went away.
I will never, ever stop cringing when I think about this day. With any luck, I will also remember how to say “today” and “tomorrow” from now on. But that’s it, that’s my Chinese level: I can converse, I can read and write some, I can order a meal, but don’t ask me how old I am or whether anything is happening today or tomorrow because I will disappoint you.