you take off your shoes before you go in the house? now that’s just smart.
you eat food with two sticks instead of a fork and knife? lemme try that!
you put this fish tank here because it’ll attract money to your business? that’s cool. i like fish! shoot, i like money, too!
you take your tea with a little liquor? how cheeky! but i’ll give it a shot.
you let the old people start eating first before you take any food? that’s mighty decent of you.
you give kids red envelopes of money during the lunar new year? that’s interesting. tell me more!
you want me to come over your house and grill some skewers and take pictures of each other with pomelo rinds on our heads? sign me up, ya crazy animal!
you can’t whistle at night cause it will attract ghosts? i guess that’s like how we don’t open umbrellas in the house back home.
you wanna rent a room, get drunk, and sing avril lavigne songs at each other? did you just read my mind?!
you don’t let kids drink cold water, but you hand them bottle rockets? hey, they’re your kids.
you hire pole dancers and strippers to perform on the street for big funerals and major holidays? let me get my camera.
you hired a cleaning service to clean this place before we moved in, and they didn’t sweep the cat hair out from under the sofa because you can’t see under the sofa? you paid money for someone to half-clean this house?! did you just pay them half?!
you just park wherever? but this is double-parking and you’re blocking traffic behind- omg watch out for that guy doing a u-turn in the middle of- jesus h. christ!
would it not be simpler if every driver on the damn island starting turning BEHIND the people in the right lane instead of speeding up and cutting them off?! maybe there needs to be like a government campaign or something…
WHAT KIND OF MONSTER CUTS IN LINE?! I DON’T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE OR HOW BUSY YOU THINK YOU ARE RELATIVE TO THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE HERE FIRST! YOU GO RIGHT TO HELL!